I think we often use the expression "what did we ever do before cell phones and the internet??"  Well, I can tell you one thing, pregnant ladies probably stressed a WHOLE lot less!!  When I was pregnant with Hailey, my doctor jokingly told me to "stay off the internet" because I would freak myself out, and back then I didn't have NEAR the worries I have now!!!  Well, I found myself slamming the laptop shut a few days ago and telling myself "I trust my doctors and I feel 100% confident that they are the most familiar with my situation...why am I reading stuff about other people's situations?"  While I know that there is a lot of helpful sites with helpful information, the worst cases were the ones jumping out to me and making me more worries than anything.  So I decided to go into this week with a new, positive mindset. 

Today, I'm 13 weeks and entering in the second stage of pregnancy.  Typically, the 2nd trimester is the best stretch in a pregnancy: you're not so big where it's uncomfortable, you're usually done with the exhaustion and sickly-feeling, you do all the planning for baby's arrival, etc.  I'm going to do my best to embrace every positive moment of this pregnancy!!  I saw Dr. Ehmer today for my routine visit and it went smoothly.  HB is 157, which he winked at me and said "that's in the girl range...but don't get your hopes up!!"  If ONLY he knew...haha!!  He also said that after this 4 week stretch (I will be 17 weeks by then), I will start seeing him every 2 weeks (which is something you don't usually start doing until about 28 weeks) and he mentioned that Dr. Yost (the High Risk Specialist) wants to start monitoring me weekly after 20 weeks.  So the entire second half of my pregnancy will be VERY busy with appointments!!  Dr. Ehmer assured me that they are pulling out all the stops to keep us all at ease.  I mentioned to him that, while I am SO SO SO thankful of all they are doing to ensure a healthy pregnancy, I'm still concerned about after the baby is born!!  He is going to set me up with the Neonatalogist from the Baylor NICU...I think hearing what their plan of action will be post delivery will help ease my mind TREMENDOUSLY!!!

Yesterday was Emily's 6 month birthday...we have been through so much in 6 months but it still seems like just yesterday that that day was here.  I don't know why this milestone was so difficult for me.  I guess part of it is that it's half a year, and part of it is that is how old Hailey was when Emily was conceived.  I constantly find myself day dreaming about what she would look like now and what she would be doing.  She was such a strong little one and, even at a few days old she was trying to lift up her head and turn it when she would be lying on my chest.  I imagine that she would be sitting up and crawling (or close to it) by now.  Just seems so wrong to have to "wonder" what my daughter WOULD BE doing right now instead of watching her actually do these things!  That brings me to a verse that has been making it's presence a lot lately"

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " Jeremiah 29:11

I have decided to keep a journal of my pregnancy journey, and one day when this little nugget is old enough...I will share with she or he the story.  I browsed the journal section at Barnes and Noble and guess what was on the front of one of the first journals that I glanced at??  Yep, Jeremiah 29:11!  It also has a little pouch in the back for me to put all of the sonogram pictures...it couldn't have been more perfect!!

Hailey remains to be so wonderful...I get frustrated with the typical "toddler" behavior (the tantrums, the constantly getting into things, I could go on) but I HAVE to remind myself how thankful I am that she is here and healthy!!  She is just so amazing...her personality is nothing like I have ever seen in a 21 month old...with a little side of stubbornness (poor thing had no way around that though...seeing that both of her parents are very stubborn)!!

On a very sad note...one of our Pastors is nearing the end of his battle with Melanoma.  If you read back to the "road to hope" post a few months ago...you will see him referenced the night of Emily's journey to Heaven.  He was the Chaplain on duty at the hosptial and was truly a gift from God that night.  Shortly after helping with her funeral, he announced that his Melanoma (something he has successfully managed over the past several year) had entered into stage 4, in which there is no known treatement at this time and it has pretty much taken over his organs.  He is very open with his diagnosis and the fact that his days are now numbered.  It is something that has been very difficult on a lot of people within our church and has really weighed heavy on my heart the past week or so, since I learned that he has now handed over all of his pastoral duties and has accepted the care of Hospice.  He will always be such an inspiration to me.  Up until a month or so ago, he continued to visit church members in the hospital, acted as the hospital's chaplain and also for the police department.  Oh yeah...might I remind you that he is in his 80's and has been a retired Minister for a while...yet he has never given up his calling as a Pastor and helping people.  I know the next several weeks will be difficult and I only pray that he is free from pain.  I mustered up the courage to write him a letter...even though I had not the first clue on what to write somone who is so much more gifted at serving God and other people than I could ever imagine being.  I just want him to know how much of an impact he has had in mine and Barry's lives.

That's all I have for today.