So I met with the High-Risk (Fetal Specialist) today and that was a bit scary and a bit comforting at the same time. Sitting in the waiting room, I was so nervous, but as I looked around, I saw pregnant ladies all there for one reason or another. Some young, some old, some big, some small...but they all have their own scary stories to share...so in a way it was a safe place. No one complained about the aches and pains or "I'm just ready for this to be over with," but one by one women went in and came out with a smile and a sigh of relief...it made me glad to be there. Once my turn came up and I got set up on the table ready for my big fancy sonogram, I could hardly control my anxiety. I was shaking, tearing up, and had so many different emotions and "what-if's" running through my head. As much as I hate bringing a toddler to my appointments, I was so relieved to have Hailey with me, even though she had no clue what was going on..haha!
The MFM doctor (Maternal Fetal Medicine) came in and we chatted a bit about what had happened before and the Anticardiolipin Syndrome I was diagnosed with this pregnancy...she said a few comforting things about the approaches we are taking and a few precautionary things that scared me a little but that we will monitor over the next several months. We walked through the sonogram and everything on baby measured out wonderfully...heart, spine, brain, nasal bone (an important indiciation of potential downs syndrome), etc. Baby had a strong heartbeat of 167 BPM and he/she even waved for us! One thing that concerned her was that my placenta was low (called Previa) which isn't too much to worry about at this gestation because it can still move, but she did tell me to restrict my physical activity and we will look more closely at 18 weeks. She did another antibody screen (more blood) and will test my platlets as well, which will probably happen every time I visit with her (just call me pin cushion). Some of these blood screens will indirectly test the blood flow of the baby (to test for fetal anemia) without ACTUALLY having to draw blood from the baby in utero, which is scary and dangerous! Those results should all be back within a week. Finally, she was very vague when I asked her to guess the sex...she said it was hard to tell from that particular angle (she was looking straight on and previously they have always looked from the side angle of the genitals at this gestation to guess the sex)...she said a lot of times girls can look like boys from that angle and said it looked a little like a boy...but not to hold her to that. I still have a feeling it might be a girl, plus the heartrate was the same as Hailey and Emily's had been. So we will see...I'm not giving up hope yet!! The most important thing is that it's healthy. I am trying not to think too much of it right now because my emotions are a little crazy today. I know in my heart that I want another little girl...even though I know it will not replace Emily or her memories. Also, all of my baby stuff is girly and I even have several outfits that Emily never wore, and it will just kill me to have to put all of that stuff away for good. See, there I go thinking about it...I know I will love this baby no matter what and I just need to keep telling myself that.
Crazy how things can change in a year. I just have to say how thankful I am for Western medicine and technology. I know some people will argue that doctors who mess with the natural process of childbearing are playing "God" and it's not right...but in my mind, these doctors are God's little Angels who are practicing miracles on earth every day!
Love
Hooray! Xoxo
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